It is about to be cold again. I just went to do laundry, and had to go outside to do it, and man did the chill get to me.
Funny part, is most of the country would LOVE to have the weather we are having right now. So for those of you who are laughing at us, I will still take this weather, over the 40 million inches of snow you guys up north have.
Well, I am just reporting in. Because of an iTunes set up tonight on my computer, I am not going to have time to do a proper post.
I will be back tomorrow to talk to you about the small group, and other thoughts that I have.
Till tomorrow!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Before I go to Bed...
About to go to sleep for the night. Going to my first small group tomorrow for Lose it For Life...
Not sure what to expect. I hope it is good. I am kind of in my head right now. We will see tomorrow morning.
Not sure what to expect. I hope it is good. I am kind of in my head right now. We will see tomorrow morning.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
New Attitude
It is funny...I was planning to write another sad written blog...I mean, I was in the right attitude to be sad. Things, still have not changed, still overweight...still not happy...still not sure what to do with my life. But it is amazing what happens. It is amazing when things change.
Today things changed with a phone call. My friend James called. After years of trying to get pregnant, and then over a year in the adoption process, they got a call. A baby. A baby boy. And the baby is theirs. In a moment call, they have a baby. After so many years, and so much heartache, they have the baby that they want.
How amazing is that? A moment within a call, and their lives will change.
For me, the moment that James called me to tell me the great news, it changed the attitude in me. I want to fight. I want to fight for me. I need to fight for me.
I am not sure yet how I am going to fight...but I need to prep for this fight. I need to find my relationship with Christ again. That is my first goal. My next goal is to start doing things to take care of myself. As I get to know more, I will talk about it.
So a moment changes two things. Congratulations James and Jenni and Baby Boy Neal!
Today things changed with a phone call. My friend James called. After years of trying to get pregnant, and then over a year in the adoption process, they got a call. A baby. A baby boy. And the baby is theirs. In a moment call, they have a baby. After so many years, and so much heartache, they have the baby that they want.
How amazing is that? A moment within a call, and their lives will change.
For me, the moment that James called me to tell me the great news, it changed the attitude in me. I want to fight. I want to fight for me. I need to fight for me.
I am not sure yet how I am going to fight...but I need to prep for this fight. I need to find my relationship with Christ again. That is my first goal. My next goal is to start doing things to take care of myself. As I get to know more, I will talk about it.
So a moment changes two things. Congratulations James and Jenni and Baby Boy Neal!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I'm Mad as Hell and Will I Take it Anymore?
I am sick and tired.
I weigh too much. I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. My friends are starting to feel like they have to start distancing themselves from me, because I will die soon.
When I wake up I am tired. My work is starting to be effected by the way I weigh. My clothes are not fitting like they are suppose to. I hate going out with friends now...I use to love doing that all the time.
I am being self destructive. I am killing myself. I have given up. In 2002, I sent an email out to everyone saying that enough is enough. I was going to start taking care of myself. Well, that was 5 years ago, and all I am is heavier. I have tried all sorts of diets. The only things I have not done is surgery, and the spiritual course. I will be trying to lose weight through a church program soon. Will, I take the program seriously, or will I fail at that too?
I can be the only one that enact change in my life. I can be the only one to take the first step with exercising...with eating right. I keep saying later...but later has never come.
You know what has suffered in all this. My relationship with Christ. I have not been in communication with Him in forever. I am missing that...I feel like I am so distance from Him. My heart is yearning to be back with Him...but I keep putting everything else in the way.
I feel like the devil has won. My weight has slowly over come me. Can I honestly say to all of you in blog land that I am done. I am going to fight back. I don't know. I want to fight back. But I am so tired. Do I want to die alone, with out friends, with out Christ? My heart is hurting. I am slowly killing myself with every bite I take. I don't stop. I do not know how to stop.
Oh God, how do I stop??
How do I love me again?
I weigh too much. I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. My friends are starting to feel like they have to start distancing themselves from me, because I will die soon.
When I wake up I am tired. My work is starting to be effected by the way I weigh. My clothes are not fitting like they are suppose to. I hate going out with friends now...I use to love doing that all the time.
I am being self destructive. I am killing myself. I have given up. In 2002, I sent an email out to everyone saying that enough is enough. I was going to start taking care of myself. Well, that was 5 years ago, and all I am is heavier. I have tried all sorts of diets. The only things I have not done is surgery, and the spiritual course. I will be trying to lose weight through a church program soon. Will, I take the program seriously, or will I fail at that too?
I can be the only one that enact change in my life. I can be the only one to take the first step with exercising...with eating right. I keep saying later...but later has never come.
You know what has suffered in all this. My relationship with Christ. I have not been in communication with Him in forever. I am missing that...I feel like I am so distance from Him. My heart is yearning to be back with Him...but I keep putting everything else in the way.
I feel like the devil has won. My weight has slowly over come me. Can I honestly say to all of you in blog land that I am done. I am going to fight back. I don't know. I want to fight back. But I am so tired. Do I want to die alone, with out friends, with out Christ? My heart is hurting. I am slowly killing myself with every bite I take. I don't stop. I do not know how to stop.
Oh God, how do I stop??
How do I love me again?
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Episode II: Attack of the Blogs
I am sitting watching the Jags final preseason game, and my thoughts are wondering.
If you faithful readers did not know, Michael Vick earlier this week was arrested on some pretty disgusting charges. I am not going to repeat the charges in this blog...but it has made me think about the heroes that we looked up to as kids...who did you look up to when you a kid?
For me, I looked up to football players. My first favorite playesr was Ed "Too Tall" Jones and Tony Dorsett of the Dallas Cowboys. They were the best at their time (the seventies). Later on in life, I really looked up to Emmitt Smith, and even later than that Danny Wuerffel. Emmitt and Danny were really good role models...up standing people, good Christians...amazing players...the best at what they did...but were they really heroes? I was even going to name my first born male after them, Daniel Emmitt.
Emmitt and Daniel were heroes to me up until 2001. That is when the definition of role model and hero changed for me. That is when I met a 14 year old boy in my brand new youth group named Cameron.
When meeting Cameron for the first time, he seemed like a normal kid. Liked to get in a little bit of trouble, like to surf, and he loved to spend time with his friends, and laugh. But on Sept. 16th, he let us in on his act of heroism. Cameron had cancer...the terminal kind. He was dying, and sadly all the chemo, and all the treatments in the world were not going to help him. Over the course of the next 5 months I saw this brave young man still fight, and fight, and fight. He lived every day to its fulliest. Even on his last days, he wanted people around to just enjoy their time with him. He passed away Feb. 2002. You see Cameron was a true hero...because he lived his life and was kind, and loving in the worst of circumstances...he is what I would want my son to be...that is why when I am blessed to have a son, I will name him after my hero, Cameron.
I never lost a youth group kid before then...and I sometimes I wonder where he would be right now...in college...surfing full time, or just spending time with family and friends.
God, I know I do not say it as much as I use to, but thank you for bring Cameron in my life. Thank you for showing me who and what a hero truly is.
Your Eternal Bud,
Chris
If you faithful readers did not know, Michael Vick earlier this week was arrested on some pretty disgusting charges. I am not going to repeat the charges in this blog...but it has made me think about the heroes that we looked up to as kids...who did you look up to when you a kid?
For me, I looked up to football players. My first favorite playesr was Ed "Too Tall" Jones and Tony Dorsett of the Dallas Cowboys. They were the best at their time (the seventies). Later on in life, I really looked up to Emmitt Smith, and even later than that Danny Wuerffel. Emmitt and Danny were really good role models...up standing people, good Christians...amazing players...the best at what they did...but were they really heroes? I was even going to name my first born male after them, Daniel Emmitt.
Emmitt and Daniel were heroes to me up until 2001. That is when the definition of role model and hero changed for me. That is when I met a 14 year old boy in my brand new youth group named Cameron.
When meeting Cameron for the first time, he seemed like a normal kid. Liked to get in a little bit of trouble, like to surf, and he loved to spend time with his friends, and laugh. But on Sept. 16th, he let us in on his act of heroism. Cameron had cancer...the terminal kind. He was dying, and sadly all the chemo, and all the treatments in the world were not going to help him. Over the course of the next 5 months I saw this brave young man still fight, and fight, and fight. He lived every day to its fulliest. Even on his last days, he wanted people around to just enjoy their time with him. He passed away Feb. 2002. You see Cameron was a true hero...because he lived his life and was kind, and loving in the worst of circumstances...he is what I would want my son to be...that is why when I am blessed to have a son, I will name him after my hero, Cameron.
I never lost a youth group kid before then...and I sometimes I wonder where he would be right now...in college...surfing full time, or just spending time with family and friends.
God, I know I do not say it as much as I use to, but thank you for bring Cameron in my life. Thank you for showing me who and what a hero truly is.
Your Eternal Bud,
Chris
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Episode VI: Return of the Blog
Is Work the New School?
Let me explain. I am getting in to the elevator at work today, and who comes walking by, but three extremely pretty women. And when I say pretty, I mean like I did a double take. The women that I am talking about are co-workers, and people that I know who they are, and they know me...but barely...they know my name...but that is about it...they probably could not remember what dept. I am in to save their life. But I know where they are...ahhh to think of high school.
You see in high school I was not a poperly kid, I know that has to be a shock), but it is true. People liked me, people did not mind me...but I was the un cool kid...standing next to the wall, and quiet as a church mouse. No girls would talk to me...it was a bummer...flash forward to today, and I am back in high school...I am the dorky kid saying, "Hi Ladies...SNORT". and they are saying to me "Hi Chris", and not giving me another look...sigh...if I got out of the elevator, and a big mean kid gave me a wedgie walking to my car, it would be OPHS all over again. Thankful that did not happen. I left for lunch, undies in place, and went on my business.
It is funny how little events, take you back to a time in your life where you felt the most ackward, the worst...sometimes I smell things, or hears something that takes me back to a far away time...I am sure that all of you can appreciate that. It is strange to me to think about times that were so far away...but my memories are usually pretty good...and I go back at a moment notice at time.
Well, that is my thoughts for right now...but I will say that I am happy to be where I am right now...I love my friends...I love that I am not the dorky kid anymore. Hey, anyone want to go buy comic books?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
For those who are interested, I survived Jacob's and my nephew's B-Day parties...still crazy...but lucky toys kept them from keeping their eyes on me...no Lord of the Flies!
If I feel like it, i will talk about it more at another time...until then, I am Your Eternal Bud!
Let me explain. I am getting in to the elevator at work today, and who comes walking by, but three extremely pretty women. And when I say pretty, I mean like I did a double take. The women that I am talking about are co-workers, and people that I know who they are, and they know me...but barely...they know my name...but that is about it...they probably could not remember what dept. I am in to save their life. But I know where they are...ahhh to think of high school.
You see in high school I was not a poperly kid, I know that has to be a shock), but it is true. People liked me, people did not mind me...but I was the un cool kid...standing next to the wall, and quiet as a church mouse. No girls would talk to me...it was a bummer...flash forward to today, and I am back in high school...I am the dorky kid saying, "Hi Ladies...SNORT". and they are saying to me "Hi Chris", and not giving me another look...sigh...if I got out of the elevator, and a big mean kid gave me a wedgie walking to my car, it would be OPHS all over again. Thankful that did not happen. I left for lunch, undies in place, and went on my business.
It is funny how little events, take you back to a time in your life where you felt the most ackward, the worst...sometimes I smell things, or hears something that takes me back to a far away time...I am sure that all of you can appreciate that. It is strange to me to think about times that were so far away...but my memories are usually pretty good...and I go back at a moment notice at time.
Well, that is my thoughts for right now...but I will say that I am happy to be where I am right now...I love my friends...I love that I am not the dorky kid anymore. Hey, anyone want to go buy comic books?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
For those who are interested, I survived Jacob's and my nephew's B-Day parties...still crazy...but lucky toys kept them from keeping their eyes on me...no Lord of the Flies!
If I feel like it, i will talk about it more at another time...until then, I am Your Eternal Bud!
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