How am I Doing?

That sure is a loaded question. First of all, I need to tell all of you that care about me that I am fine. I have some really nervous discussions with friends that after reading my blog from a few weeks ago, were wondering if I was going to hurt myself. Believe me, I am OK. The only hurting of myself that I am doing is by my eating. Life is diffcult, but nothing is meant to be easy. The burden is diffcult, but the yoke is light...remember that? But, I do want to say thank you to all of you who were reading, and were concerned. And for those who contacted me to check in, thank you for that too. I do appreciate knowing that I am loved.

Now back to the question. I am doing better. Out of the funk that I am in. Feeling more confident...better than I was weeks ago. I am far from where I want to be, but I found a map, and I am trying to read it to get back where I need to be. So, much like what the Star Trek trailer said, I am "Under Construction". My life, my body everything is under construction.

Spiritual, I am doing better too. Conversations with God are becoming more frequent. Conversations about God are coming back to be a part of everyday life. It is nice to say that. God is not one to ever leave you...and trust me I tried. I am doing my best now to get back with feeling like I am keeping up with the bargain with out rlationship together.

Now back to the weight. I am a part of this small group called "Lose it For Life". It is done throun New Life Ministries which does the "Every Man's Battle" series. It is about tackling your weight issues with a spiritual apporach. Something I really never did before. I am still learning about the series, but expect to hear more from me about this.

One of the things I am going to do starting next week, is to write about my goals for the week. I have done a rough job so far of following through with some of my goals. So I figure if I write about them, it will make them more concrete to me. Make sense?

Here are some of the things, I have learned so far:

• The problem is physical, the cause is menatl, the solution is spiritual.
• There is a stubborn resistance that is causing me to stay overweight. I need to figure out what it is.
• By staying connect with people in a deep, rich way, it will help me to get better faster. This part is so true, because I notice when I am at my lowest, and not working on this, is when I make myself the most isolated.
• That hunger is great diversion from actually being in the moment.
• You cannot heal, until you let someone see the wound, and help you out. By blogging, I will be showing all of you my wounds.
• The goal is not to lose weight, but to keep the weight off.
• There is healing in openness.
• Part of healing is the dying of oneself.
• The way that we hurt ourselves is by deciding that we are the only ones in the world making mistakes, when that is simply not the case.
• Do not multi-task. Do not eat, and do something else. It will cause you to not enjoy the meal process, and make you eat faster, or eat in an unhealthy way.
• The three C's of losing weight: connection, community, and councel.

So that is where I am at right now. I am trying to place all of the things I have learned so far in my life. Not much progress yet, but I feel it is coming.

This is where I am at. Your comments are so appreciated. It is nice to see my old friends tell me what is going on with them an cheering me on. Thanks for commenting! Please keep them coming.

PS...second place in trivia this week. Next week, we go for first!