Fridays are a blessing and a curse for me now a days. Fridays mean the end of the week, and the beginning of the weekend which is great...it also means bowling night...which I am really enjoying...but it also means that it is the day before I weigh in.
You would think that weigh in days would be a source of happiness...but to be honest, they really are not. The Friday before, I stress out...I absolutely hate it. I can be having the best week in the world, work out regularly, eating well, and only lost about a half a pound...or lost 4 pounds...or if I had a bad week, eating bad, not working out that much, then it is like the long walk to failure. I know I have screwed up, and now there is nothing I can do about it. So now, i have to wait to see how bad I messed up. And then after a bad weigh in, it is a walk of shame...and all the people I have to tell that I have not lost anything, or that I have gained weight...to see the polite, "well you will do better next week", or just the look on their face that tells me, "oh he messed up...he does not take it seriously...he will never be healthy".
I will say this...I am taking it seriously this time around. I have lost weight the past 6 weeks. I am have signed up with a gym. I am working out on a regular basis now. I do not want to fail again. My goodness, I have failed at this over and over again. I have failed at trying to lose weight and taking care of myself since I was 13 years old. That was the first time I did Weight Watchers (this time with WW is my 7th time)...it did not stick then....and here I am now...praying that it will stick now...praying that I will not mess this up again. Praying that I will make my friends, my family, heck even me, proud one day. This is all that is going on in my head the day before a weigh in. And some of you wonder why I have gray hair.
So, if you ask me if I am excited about my weigh in's...the answer is no...it is all one big bundle of stress to me.
2 comments:
remember when we talked about that black or white thing? your battle doesn't have to be a win/fail order of business on your to-do list. some days go well, and some days go poorly. some moments we make a good choice, and some moments we don't. it's a PROCESS. maybe if somehow you can change your brain's outlook on things, you won't be so hard on yourself - this isn't about whether you win or lose. its about each tiny choice you make, and each moment that you LIVE your LIFE and seek peace and joy. the more positive choices you make, the better life is going to get, and the healthier you are going to become!!! I'm sorry to say, that most likely, you are not going to wake up one day and say "Ahhh, I have conquered this. I can get on with my life now." It's going to be a PROCESS and a part of your life forever. But I think that you CAN get to a point that you say "Ahhh, I am HAPPY. I am HEALTHIER today than I was yesterday. I can DO THIS." (and KEEP doing it!) Hang in there - just keep on truckin' my friend!
^^^
Sounds like the nature of grace.
Keep plugging away, bud. We're rooting for ya!
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