Food is my kryptonite. For those who are geek challenged, that means food is my weakness. I use to have the hardest time admitting that it was my weakness. I still do for the most part. But as I continue to lose the weight, I am see what weakness, or crutch that food is to me.
Yesterday, I had a conversation with my friend Andy. His wife had bought pizza for myself and a group of hungry gamers (hey, sitting around playing games is HARD work :), and there was plenty of left overs. Andy asked me if I wanted any of it, and I had to say no. I told Andy that I could not take any home. If I did, it would be eaten in mass amounts. Andy then asked if I wanted to take just 2 pieces home. I ended up telling him no again, because if I did take it home, I would have eaten both pieces later that night. I am glad I said no..because I am sure I would have been right.
My brain does not work like others. I get full like others, but i still continue to cram my face, even if I am full. I eat, like a bear in the winter time, not knowing when my next meal is coming. I am still not sure why I eat as much as I do...or why I eat, when I know I am full. I wish I did know. It is something that I am still trying to figure out why. Until I figure out why I eat the way I do, I am going to have to keep saying no. No to taking leftovers home, no to anything extra. Food is my drug...food is my fear. And every day I have to fight that fear.
So this is where I am right now...wish I had something more fun to say...but this is what is on my heart right now...
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